You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
