Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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