You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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