So drunk its hurt
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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