So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
