tonight lets celebrate not being married
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
