I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
