do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
