I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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