I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
