The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
