Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
