listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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