Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
