do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
