just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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