update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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