Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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