Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
