Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
