you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
