I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
whose ass print is on the piano?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
