So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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