my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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