I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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