I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
