just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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