Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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