Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
