He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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