Just mADE A PArabola og urine
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
