Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
