I accidentally burped into my bong.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
