Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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