when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
