so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
