So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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