it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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