well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
