hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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