the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
