You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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