youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
