Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
