Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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