Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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