i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
