u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
