you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
