You really coming over, don't trick.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
pray to the hookup gods
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
