"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
