would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
