Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
