i permit you to call me
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
