i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
