We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
